Stayed back in school for the SMU CHC Prayer Meeting. Even though I had to stay back in school to wait for close to 4 hours, I was glad that I made the decision to attend my very first PM in SMU.
I was really very impacted by the testimony shared on what God has been doing in the campus, making use of little things and ordinary people to touch lives. I felt something stir up so strongly in me. I really want to do something.
Something that one of the brothers shared really struck me in a tremendous way. He is actually one of the teaching assistants in class, and the Professor actually passed out a questionaire to all the students in the class. One of the questions was,
"What do you want to be in 10 years' time?".
The brother, as the teaching assistant, collected all the questionaires and was supposed to compile them. And its really amazing to see the answers that the students wrote.
"I want to find a direction in life."
"I want to make a difference in someone's life.'"
The people who wrote things like that, are people that are sitting next to us in class, but yet, we fail to notice them, not even say, reach out to them. When I heard this testimony, I just felt tears welling up in my eyes, and I started asking myself what have I been doing for the past 3 weeks in school. There is really so much more every single one of us can do.
The word really spoke to my heart as well. Its true that things can get really tiring, no one in SMU is going to say theyre not tired. Adding on to our school work, there's still ministry, church commitments. Its really so important to learn to lean on His strength rather than our own.
My flesh and my heart fail;While worshipping, I just couldnt stop crying. Even until the session ended, I just couldnt stop. I knew that God has put me in SMU with a purpose. Not NUS, not NTU, but SMU. Honestly speaking, I started my university life with fear. Maybe it was because, apart from Liangyu, I didnt really have much close friends in school. Sometimes it feels like Im alone in this whole thing and while I tell God to use me, on the other hand Im thinking about whether I can really do it.
God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
But during the prayer meeting just now, I just felt God's assurance and love so strongly while I cried out to Him. I felt a tiny voice telling me,
I will use you in unexpected ways, as long as you are willing.
For the next 4 years in SMU, I want to remember tonight's experience.
Even while Im typing this now, I can feel His presence so strongly. After the prayer meeting, I feel like I have a new source of strength and motivation again.
I am ready to start all over.